Necessary Evil
by Friends Babe
Summary: Sean Anderson Fic. Sometimes a man just has to protect his children, do the best for them, take them away from anyone and everyone who could hurt them. Even if that person is their mother.


_Hello all. I decided to write a Sean fic a while ago, and this is the result. He has always been a character that fascinated me, and I really wanted to explore why he took the kids to Saudi and all that jazz, which I hope I have done. It's only short, but I quite like it. I hope you do too :)_

_Nina x_

**Necessary Evil**

I remember the first time I saw you. The way you seemed to rise head and shoulders above everyone else. I was a junior doctor on an orthopaedic rotation when we received a call from Paediatrics to discuss a child's badly broken arm. My consultant thought it a good teaching case and so I was asked to join him, along with another junior. Your matron obviously felt the same way, by the time we arrived you were all gathered around his bed, a collection of learners no longer seeing a person, but an opportunity.

All except you.

You were the only person around that bedside to see what we were all missing. That the patient we were all so keen to work on was nothing more than a scared little boy, terrified by things he didn't understand. You looked down at him, caught his eye, and suddenly made everything OK. In that moment my entire body froze. I followed your gaze, winking cheekily at our patient when he caught me looking, knowing that you were different. Chat up lines and expensive gifts wouldn't impress you. There was another way to your heart.

I see the same look in our children's eyes, Jess, I see it every day. The way they can reach out to someone they don't even know and without thinking, bring a smile to their face. The way they insist on stopping to help every injured animal lying in the gutter. The way they care, the way that despite everything that's happened they still believe the world can be healed.

I know the way I acted was wrong. If you believe nothing else about me Jess, believe that. I never wanted to take our children from you, to cut you from their lives, but you had become a threat to them, to their happiness. A cancer. And I did what any doctor would do, I removed it. I wasn't perfect. I can admit to that, but at least I was honest. Every time you cornered me, pulling some flimsy shred of evidence from your pocket, hastily scribbled phone numbers, an unfamiliar perfume on a shirt, the way I refused to meet your eyes, every time Jess, I admitted to my mistakes. I saw you in front of me, the dull ache in your eyes and I crumbled every time. Apologised, admitted that I had been stupid, begged for your forgiveness and allowed us to move forward.

It's not that you made the mistakes Jess, it's that when I found out about them, you refused to see them as that. Adam Trueman? The stereotypical arrogant consultant? You chose him? Of all the men Jess, all the people I know you could have chosen why him? What made him so special that he was worth loosing your children for? I gave you the chance to apologise, to beg for my forgiveness. When you found out about Zoe, you could have told me then. Wiped the slate clean, allowed us to move forward, closer and stronger than ever before. Instead you chose secrecy. You chose lies. You chose what happened Jess, the minute you chose to remain silent.

Honestly, I expected you to be with us within the week. I kept my phone by my side constantly for those first few days, convinced that at any second it would ring, telling me that it was all sorted, that we were even, that you have acted like the woman I always knew you were. The one who would put anyone else's happiness in front of her own, especially that of her children. I knew he'd gotten to you Jess, knew he was under your skin, but I never knew how much he affected you. Until that moment, two weeks after we left when I knew I was saying goodbye to you, to everything. I'd transferred my position out of Riyadh (if you weren't with us Jess, you were against us, and after all the hurt and confusion you'd already caused my children, I couldn't allow you to hurt them anymore), and I knew the second we arrived in Abha you would never find us. No one would. I waited for you Jess, I waited for you until I just couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to believe she was still there, the amazing woman I fell in love with, the one who loved me, who loved our children, who would happily lay down and die if it meant protecting her family. But she's gone. Somehow, Adam Trueman has twisted you, made you into a person I don't even recognise anymore. Made you into the type of person who would choose his … his possession over you, over our children.

I acted as any parent would. I walked away from the woman I love, rather than have her contaminate my children. I can't say I can excuse the means, but they more than justify the ends. I see our children now Jess, and they're happy. Happier than they ever were there. Their smiles reach right up to their eyes, and their laughter makes every single day better than the one before.

I love you Jess. It's you and me, remember? Always. But I can't forgive you for what you did. Not while a part of it still lives on. And I don't want someone like that near my children. Until it's removed, until that part of our lives is finally behind us, I'm afraid I can't change my position. The children stay with me, happy, healthy and secure, far away from anything and anyone that could hurt them.

And I refuse to feel guilty about that.


End file.
